Communication for Newlyweds: So…We’re Really Different, Huh? Loreen and Emmanuel Garilus

Emmanuel Garilus: That's definitely something where we've been working on as well—just the way she expresses what she's feeling. Sometimes I can feel like you're expressing it a little too much.
Loreen Garilus: It’s one of the differences.
Emmanuel Garilus: It's too open or it's too drawn out.
Ann Wilson: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.
Dave Wilson: I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is FamilyLife Today. We've got the best-dressed couple I've ever had in FamilyLife studio today. You guys really do look excellent.
Ann Wilson: Are you feeling insecure?
Dave Wilson: I am. I’ve got my golf hoodie on over here. But here's what's amazing. Loreen and her husband, Emmanuel Garilus, are in, and nobody knows Loreen, but you work for us. You bring every guest into the studio.
Ann Wilson: You make this happen. What we're doing at FamilyLife Today, you have a lot to do with this.
Dave Wilson: Tell our listeners and all the people watching and seeing how underdressed we are—tell them what you do.
Loreen Garilus: My name is Loreen. I am the Guest Relations Coordinator at FamilyLife Today. Once we approve guests, I am on the hunt to try to get them here. I'm coordinating with either them directly or their publicist, and we're working with schedules and travel to get them on the show. Once they're here on campus, I am their hospitality liaison. I meet them at the front door, walk them back here, get them an Uber, and keep them away from people who are talking too much. All that stuff.
Dave Wilson: And you guys are newlyweds.
Ann Wilson: We're going to talk a little bit not only about your relationship and your love story but also your passions and dreams and how God's using you and how God wants to use all of us with those same passions and dreams.
Dave Wilson: All right, tell us how you met. Let's hear the love story.
Ann Wilson: You're not going to ask Emmanuel what he does?
Dave Wilson: Oh yeah, Emmanuel, what do you do?
Emmanuel Garilus: My name is Emmanuel Garilus. I am a saxophonist and educator. I do concerts.
Dave Wilson: So that's your full-time job. What do you mean by educator?
Emmanuel Garilus: I teach saxophone mostly online. I started playing when I was about 12 or 13. I was sitting in a church one day and there was this guy with a blue suit, a funny-looking hat, and pointy-toe shoes. He got on the stage and played his heart out, and that moment really captured me. I said, "Man, I want to do that." I joined the band the following year in high school. I did both jazz band and concert band. Afterward, I studied under Jordan Pettay. She's a saxophonist up in New York. She studied at Berkeley, so she was my teacher for a while.
Ann Wilson: You grew up in Haiti. How old were you when you came to the United States? Did you have any musical interest when you were in Haiti?
Emmanuel Garilus: My family is a pretty musical family. My sisters all sing. We actually have a ministry, like a singing ministry. My dad was a choir director for a long time. There was always music in the house. In 2010, unfortunately, there was this big earthquake that happened in Haiti, and that's when our family moved from Haiti to the US. But I didn't start playing until I got into high school.
Ann Wilson: Did you sing with your family when they were singing? Have you heard them, Loreen?
Loreen Garilus: Yes. I was friends with his sisters before I knew him, and I've been on leadership and a part of the choir for some time.
Dave Wilson: You guys are going to sing for us today?
Emmanuel Garilus: We’re part of the choir. We’re background; we’re not the lead.
Ann Wilson: You may not know this, but we want to hear from you—literally hear you. You can leave us a voice message with your questions, concerns, praise reports, or whatever. Maybe Dave said something that you totally disagree with.
Dave Wilson: Why did you have to pick on me? Maybe it was you who said something. Or maybe it was inspiring. Or maybe you just want us to answer a question or explore a certain topic. Whatever you want to say, you get to call and say it.
Ann Wilson: All you have to do is go to speakpipe.com/familylifetoday. Again, that's speakpipe.com/familylifetoday, or get the link in the show notes.
Dave Wilson: Again, it's speakpipe.com/familylifetoday. How old were you guys when you met? You knew his sister, but how old were you then? Was it long ago?
Loreen Garilus: I met one of his oldest sisters, Stephanie, in middle school. It was funny. Sixth grade, we were in home economics. She had just come; the earthquake had just happened. With my struggling Creole at the time, I remember trying to help her. We went on through sixth and seventh grade. Eighth grade came around and she was in my honors history class. I remember being so impressed by her because in those few years, she prevailed. Her English was there, and she’s in an honors class. I remember going home and being like, "Mommy, do you remember the girl Stephanie I told you about in sixth grade that came from the earthquake? She's in my honors class and she's so smart; she's amazing." That was then. Little did I know he was at that middle school.
Emmanuel Garilus: I was a year under you guys.
Loreen Garilus: I didn't know. After middle school, we never had a class again besides the history class. Then we went on to go to different high schools. It wouldn't be until senior year that I felt this pulling to come back to church. I had a friend named Jordan who would always talk about church.
Dave Wilson: So you were going to church as a younger girl but stopped?
Loreen Garilus: My family, we had an on-and-off relationship with church. We’d go consecutively for two years, then stop for six months. It wasn't until high school that I felt that longing because of that friend named Jordan. I started going to this church called Grace Bible Church of Central Florida. In 2017 and 2018, I started serving in the young adult ministry. I met a friend named Dorothea who actually works here, and her grandparents were putting on a "how they met" love story night at her house. I went and I saw Stephanie. I remembered her from middle school. She had a sister, so just being nosy, I went home and I found her on Instagram. I saw she had other siblings and I saw him. I was like, "Oh, he's really cute."
Dave Wilson: Just from a picture?
Loreen Garilus: Yes. But I then saw that he had a girlfriend. It was a long-term relationship.
Emmanuel Garilus: Fortunately, that ended. It was unfortunate at the time because it was such a heartbreak.
Dave Wilson: How long were you together?
Emmanuel Garilus: Six years. It was high school sweethearts.
Ann Wilson: At that time, were you pretty strong spiritually? It sounds like you grew up in a Christ-centered home.
Emmanuel Garilus: My dad is actually a pastor. In Haiti, our house, the top of it is a sanctuary where we would host services, and we lived in the bottom. People from the village would come and have service there on Sunday. That's the environment I grew up in—very strong in the faith. But when that happened, I remember just being heartbroken. I said, "God, I don't want to ever go through that again. Please tell me who my person is. I don't want to go years and years. Just tell me who it is." I asked Him to please be open with me. And He did, actually. It was some time in between that where it was just me and God for a while, just healing and going through that. It must have been the beginning of 2024. I began to have a strong liking toward her out of nowhere. I asked, "God, is this the person? Is this who I'm supposed to be with?" Through many ways, He said, "Yes." I remember telling my sisters, "Guys, I think I like Loreen." They were like, "Yes, just go ask her out." But I didn't want to just jump into it, so I stayed with the Lord for probably two or three months just making sure.
Ann Wilson: If only we would all have done that! Take your time. You're going to God before you're going to Loreen.
Dave Wilson: Listeners, are you hearing that? That's a good move.
Emmanuel Garilus: Even during that time, Loreen can tell you about the whole process.
Loreen Garilus: Let me tell you guys the details. One time at church, service just let out and my now brother-in-law, he was my friend, Eric—he has a big personality—he’s like, "Loreen! Whatever you're doing, girl, keep doing it. There's a big blessing on the way." Mind you, this is the beginning of 2024. In December of 2023, I had gone on a fast. Since graduating college, I had been on the hunt to get the big girl job, and it really wore me down. I was on a fast, and when Eric said this—he is a youth pastor—I thought, "This is a man of God. He’s heard from the Lord. He's talking about my job." I said, "Thank you, I receive it." But he keeps talking and he says, "When he approaches you, we didn't have this conversation." I realized he was talking about a man. I walked out, but naturally, just being a person and a woman, now I'm curious. Who is it? I'm very active in the church, so it’s like I feel like people are watching me. Who could it be? Is it the security guard? Is it the guy in Bible study? I had this hunch that it was Emmanuel. We had a church anniversary coming up that we were singing at. I said, "I'm going to see him, and if it's different, I will know." I went, I walked in, and immediately I heard him from on stage. He said, "Is that Loreen?" I'm playing Detective Gadget in my head. Clue one. It's me, but he would have never cared in the past. Our culture, we greet each other with a kiss. I'm on stage and I'm greeting everybody, and I go toward him.
Dave Wilson: Should we act this out?
Ann Wilson: Act it out.
Loreen Garilus: Yes! So he’s standing there and he’s like—what did you say?
Emmanuel Garilus: I said, "It's so good to see you."
Loreen Garilus: But his voice is low. "It's so good to see you." In my head, I'm thinking, "Why is it so good to see me?"
Dave Wilson: He's got a good deep voice.
Loreen Garilus: Because I'm playing Detective Gadget, from my peripheral, I catch his oldest sister, Fran, throw a glance to Stephanie that's like, "Look, I'm right." The night unfolds. We end up having this impromptu game night my sister put together.
Dave Wilson: How many siblings do you have, Emmanuel?
Emmanuel Garilus: I have four siblings; there's five of us total. My sister puts on this game night. I get there a little bit later, and Loreen just so happened to be the only person without a partner.
Loreen Garilus: I had a partner! But it just so happened that when Emmanuel comes in, my partner has to go home.
Dave Wilson: So they set it up.
Emmanuel Garilus: Naturally, I became her partner. We spoke for like two or three hours. We just sat there and conversed for a while. Then I said, "Let me take you out on a date," and we've been together ever since.
Dave Wilson: Were you married soon after, or was it a long courtship?
Emmanuel Garilus: We met in 2024 and then we got married in 2025, so a year.
Loreen Garilus: It was pretty soon. He proposed in April of 2025, and then we got married that July.
Dave Wilson: When God tells you, you know.
Emmanuel Garilus: You know.
Loreen Garilus: I want to go back to what we were talking about as far as it's important to go to the Lord first. I remember one of my really good friends, Gaelle. When I told her about the hunch that I had—
Emmanuel Garilus: The mystery man.
Loreen Garilus: Yeah, we kept calling him the mystery man. She said that she knew, but she couldn't tell me. But she said, "I just want you to know that he's really intentionally taking his time. He's not going to be one of those weirdos that's like, 'God told me you're my wife.'" I said, "You know what, Gaelle? I have no idea who he is, but I already have so much respect for him because that's the best thing he could ever do for me." Whether I find out in a month or six months or I never find out, I already have so many brownie points for this guy because that's the best move to make.
Ann Wilson: Compare what you guys did relationally, taking your time and seeking God, to what an average 20-something would have been doing in the culture that doesn't know God. Or maybe they do know God, but that relationship has come before God. They usually move fast.
Loreen Garilus: I can compare it to myself. I really got active in church and in ministry when I was 20. Before that, I didn't have much community; I was a "went to school, went home" type of girl. I formed that when I joined my young adult ministry and I was serving. I definitely quickly learned about idolatry and putting man before God. I experienced that in friendship, but also with my first relationship. It was something that we didn't give each other time to know each other. Even that guy—bless his heart, he was young too—but I could have been a Jezebel coming in here to wreck havoc in this beautiful young adult ministry that y'all have created. So it was foolish of him and also foolish of me to entertain that so quickly. That's my example. I definitely had my bouts with that.
Ann Wilson: So many people now hook up, and the relationship isn't so much about getting to know each other and really knowing who they are in Christ and what their relationship with God is like. For you guys, that was foundational.
Dave Wilson: Well, here's my question to the ladies. How important is it to you as women that your man—even if you're not married—is a solid, God-fearing, God-following, God-obeying man? I'm hearing your story and thinking there was some respect you had for him because he took his time and was waiting on the Lord. I don't think guys understand that. They think they’re supposed to look this way and act this way and move quick. Don’t women respect a man who’s like, "This is my priority, Jesus, and I'm not moving until Jesus moves"?
Ann Wilson: If a woman is walking with Jesus, yes, absolutely. If Jesus is her Lord and King, there's an incredible respect. Seeking God before anything else is attractive.
Loreen Garilus: That's the only way that I'll feel the safest. We're fickle people. Someone could wake up tomorrow and, God forbid, literally be out of their mind. So I need to know that you've come under Christ. We talk about lists, like creating lists. I don't mind that, but for my list, it was a lot of character. My very first one was that he loves the Lord way more than he loves me.
Ann Wilson: Loreen, you're so mature. For you to have that as a priority says a lot about your character and your walk with Jesus. What's been your learnings?
Emmanuel Garilus: That we're very different in many, many ways. For me personally, since I was in Gainesville quite a lot, I didn't really see some things until you get up close and personal. Both good and bad, you don't realize that they do things this way. It's not necessarily bad; it's just different than how I would do it.
Dave Wilson: Do you have some examples? How are you different?
Emmanuel Garilus: I’d say communication. She wants to be on the phone all the time, especially if she's not home. I'm working and I think, "You could have just texted me that. You don't have to call all the time." It's nothing bad, but for me, if I'm working, focus is very important and I want to get done what I'm getting done. If you're calling, it's going to take me away from what I'm doing. It's not like I don't want to talk to you, but right now is just not the time.
Ann Wilson: What would you say, Loreen?
Loreen Garilus: Because he's always in hyper-focus, I have grace for it, but let's agree that on this set time, we break. Our thing is for dinner. If he has a lot of client calls or something else and he has a working dinner, if he doesn't communicate that, then that's very frustrating for me because I've been patiently waiting for this time. If it doesn't happen then, I won't see him until bed. That's just different communication. The ways that we communicate are important.
Ann Wilson: That is true for Dave and me. I tend to lock into something and be super focused. He does too. One of our things was I felt like he wasn't present when we were together sometimes. But I can do it too. Dave and I are kind of alike. We have a lot of the same weaknesses—differences.
Dave Wilson: Mine are weaknesses. Hers are differences. I can get locked into something and I’m in a project and she wants to talk. I’m like, "Can you not see this? You asked me to do it, so here I am." Or, "I'm making money for the family. This is for us." Sometimes she just wants the relationship.
Ann Wilson: I want the relationship piece to be so important. It is to him, but he's communicating it in a different way, like, "This is important too because I'm doing it for us." But I'm like, "It doesn't feel like us."
Emmanuel Garilus: How do you balance that? I think that's something I'm still learning.
Ann Wilson: I love what Loreen said. "Hey, okay, I get it, but now during this time, during dinner, lock in." We see that with our kids and their different personalities too, how it can frustrate the spouse when you have expectations that dinner is for talking and then it doesn't happen. Those unmet needs can create conflict. The question is, do you guys come back and talk about it then, if your feelings are hurt or if it never happened? That constant communication without resentment is the key.
Loreen Garilus: I would say we do. I'm a talker. I will express my feelings—maybe too well.
Ann Wilson: Me too, Loreen.
Emmanuel Garilus: That's definitely something where we've been working on as well—just the way she expresses what she's feeling. Sometimes I can feel like you're expressing it a little too much. It's too open or it's too drawn out. In my family, because of the way I grew up, we have meetings all the time. If someone did something wrong, we all as a family would sit down and have a meeting about it. It’s very office-like. You have your time to speak and speak your mind. It's not as emotional. Even for my mom, she’s just, "This is what you did. Don't do that." With us, it was very chill. It's not the same with Loreen.
Loreen Garilus: My house was the complete opposite. We were very passionate.
Emmanuel Garilus: Passionate. That’s the word I was looking for.
Loreen Garilus: Passionate on the phone, passionate in doorways. It's been a learning curve. I also try to uphold the verse that says not to let the sun go down on your wrath. I like to talk about it, but sometimes he just wants to let it sit or we can come back to it. That'll only just fester more in me. I don't just wake up and it's a new day and I forgot about it. It's still very much there. I don't want to say good morning to you before we talk about it. That's another difference we’re trying to figure out.
Dave Wilson: That was fun to have Loreen and Emmanuel. I have a whole new appreciation for her life. You only see her at work and you don't know there's this whole life going on.
Ann Wilson: The thing that inspired me too, besides their walk with God and their trust in Him, was their community of God. Their church life was really instrumental, and that should be true for all of us.
Dave Wilson: It’s something you have to make happen, and they’re making it happen. Guess what? We’ve got them back tomorrow, and tomorrow he's pulling out his saxophone. You’re not going to want to miss this one.
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