Strengthening Marriage through Life’s Humdrums
By Lynette Kittle
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” - Ephesians 5:21
Often couples believe we have to make grand efforts to bring us closer together. Yet there are simple, everyday ways to draw us nearer to each other. One way is by making the humdrum things in life more of a team effort, helping to build bonds between us rather than create daily monotony.
A lot of marriage is filled with the day-to-day humdrum living out of life such as going to work and daily chores around the house. Hours of taking out the trash, washing dishes, grocery shopping, preparing meals, and other routine things we do over and over again. Simple but necessary tasks like washing, folding, and wearing clothes, only to start the whole process over again, week after week.
Below are some ways my husband and I have discovered to help build unity in the midst of the humdrums tasks of life. Ways we reach out to assist each other without having to ask each other.
- When he takes the trash bag out, I put a new one in the kitchen trashcan.
- He washes his clothes and I fold them.
- Following one of his kitchen experiments of trying new recipes, I clean up the dishes, counters, and appliances included in his creations.
- For years I did all the grocery shopping but now we go together, choosing items, carrying them in and putting them away.
- When I take my vitamins in the morning, I set his vitamins near his phone.
Working together in little everyday things helps unite spouses. Even though some might question how incorporating these into everyday activities could possibly help strengthen couples, it just does.
For spouses who face difficulty serving together with their husband or wife in daily tasks for various reasons like past hurts, disappointments, or personality conflicts, Ephesians 6:7 urges to, “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people.”
When couples include each other even though they are quite capable of accomplishing things all by themselves, they’re building trust in their relationship. And by serving one another even in the smallest of ways, God works through their efforts to draw them closer to each other and also to Him.
Although it’s easy to dismiss doing these things as unimportant activities, consider how working together on the small things in marriage can impact a couple’s long-term relationship.
Each having our own household responsibilities to get done can sometimes make it seem like we’re doing all the work by ourselves. If we’re not careful, the enemy can cause division by making us feel like we are self-reliant and don’t need our spouse.
Galatians 5:13 cautions us, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
So how does a couple start? It begins when one spouse reaches out to help the other. By husbands and wives modifying how they accomplish things, purposely looking for ways to do humdrum activities together with the goal of strengthening their marriage. It’s set into motion by seeking out opportunities to assist each other even when each spouse is quite capable of doing it all on their own.
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, iBelieve.com, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, Startmarriageright.com, growthtrac.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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